Controversial Christianity: Keeping It Real

Keeping it real. 

I'm going to say something controversial here now, so hang on for a second.

When E was asking why she got this disease and how unfair it seems in the light of all the excitement already surrounding our lives lately, I reminded her of the more obvious Scriptures like 'the rain falls on the just and the unjust'. Sometimes things just happen and instead of asking 'why me' we should usually ask 'why not me'.

This is the controversial part: sometimes a thing like this has nothing at all to do with the person. It has to do with things in the greater schemata. The Big Picture.

Being a Jesus person doesn't mean being nice all of the time.
It means being real all of the time. Sometimes the truth
isn't nice. But it's important.

I have this saying--if you've been around me five seconds you've heard me say it. Any time something goes in my favor I say, "God loves me" and smile. But if you've been around me lots and lots of time, you know that when things go really wrong, I point at myself and say, "God loves me" then too. Because He does.

And I really, truly, completely believe when the Scripture says, "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." I believe that even this diagnosis has a higher purpose in His plan for Elise, His plan for our family, and maybe even His plan for you if you are connected to us in some way.

Johnson Motto: Laugh at everyone
all of the time. Especially yourself.

I told E that she's been given this amazing platform. She can encourage thousands of people she never would have had access to without this illness. She's going to meet and influence people in all corners of this hospital. She is going to be able to share and learn and use things she didn't understand before. She is going to have her faith tested.

I also told her she doesn't have to respond any way she doesn't feel is sincere. So, if she's angry, she's allowed to be angry. If she's sad, she's allowed to be sad. If she doesn't want to talk to a person, she doesn't have to. If she wants visitors to leave, they can find the door. Having cancer has already been incredibly freeing. She can literally respond how she really feels as opposed to a sugar-coated, false front put on show. We are already the most real people I know--but this? This is different. It's powerful. It's freeing. It's being able to tell people what you really think and knowing that they are listening. These things don't make you bad or good--they make you authentic or not.

The public you and the private you need to look the same. 

So, for the first time ever in my history parenting, my child received a text message apology, and she wanted to respond in a rude way. I asked if she really, truly felt the thing she typed (before she sent she asked me what I thought and if she had permission to send). She confirmed. She never wanted to hear from that person again after what they did to her.

She said this, "My illness doesn't give everyone who has wronged me to come back and try to make right. It's selfish and makes my situation revolve around their guilt. It's ugly. If they didn't want to contact me to apologize to me before then this will be the best reaping and sowing lesson ever."

Normally, the (former) pastor's wife mom in me would say, "But God tells us to forgive and not let a root of bitterness grow..." spewing truths but not real emotions.

Being real means being real especially when people are watching. 

This time? I looked at her and said, "If that is how you really, honestly feel, hit the send button."

And she did.

And I think I'll do the same when the time comes. Because your life is but a vapor and sometimes you need to say the truth to someone in love while you still can. God will still love me when I do. I wish the same for you.