I struggle every single day not to be a toot.
I'm not kidding. I have to fight that part of my nature with a vengeance. My first response when hurt or upset is to lash out, and I'm fierce. Like dangerous, scary fierce.
I have to deliberately, carefully, purposefully put that part of myself down and try to focus on being Christ-like.
And the struggle is real, my friends.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit that sometimes I lose that battle.
So would you.
Every single day you have options--how am I going to respond to adversity, hardship, angry words, hurtful things...am I going to respond in kind or in kindness?
Sometimes I love you. Sometimes I want to help you. Sometimes I feel sorry for you. Sometimes I feel led to pray with you. Sometimes I want to throat punch you.
Hey, the truth is scary.
And this is especially true in church. Because I am compelled by the love of Christ to love you even in your sin and when I don't agree with you and when you hurt my feelings.
That part stinks. Like really, really stinks. I don't like it at all. (See: throat punch) Ugh. So, I find that part of me that is completely connected to the Holy Spirit and strive to listen with patience and pray for my enemies. It's comforting that Jesus did the same and modeled that behavior for me. He thought about throat punching some people too, He just had better self-control than I do (See: tables overturned on money-changers)
So, some notes to clarify:
Do not come to me with any complaints about my husband. Ever.
Do not come to me with any child-rearing suggestions. Ever.
Do not come to me trying to gossip. Ever.
Do not come to me trying to get information about my friends. Ever.
(See: Throat punch)
I'm killing this whole being transparent thing, like for real.