30 Days of Thankful--Day 14--Pastor Appreciation

Yesterday the church gave us a beautiful luncheon and love offering for Pastor Appreciation. I can't tell you what our a blessing it is being in a church that loves us means to our family! But being married to The Pastor is weird. Like with a capital W.

Here are some reasons (in no particular order) why this is so:

1) If you are married to the pastor, people want your husband emotionally all of the time.

They want to call and text and email him until midnight. They want him there, physically there, when trouble comes. They want parts of him that are usually reserved for marriage and family. And I am expected to share him willingly, without complaint. (Will someone in the Pastor's Wives Association please let me know when she has accomplished this and let me know how to do it?)  Lucky for all you people that Your Pastor thinks he's on call 24/7 too, because if it were up to me...

2) If you're married to the pastor, people have this bizarre idea that you, as his wife, are supposed to be a role model or something.

*snort. As if. I'm an idiot. I have little or no mercy. I'm intolerant of stupidity. I am constantly on the verge of hysterical, inappropriate laughter. Really. You should probably avoid me if you're looking for comfort or encouraging words.  Lucky for all you people that Your Pastor loves me just like I am, because it makes him more likely to love you just like you are...

3) If you're married to the pastor, your kids are supposed to be perfect.

This is why our kids have only two church attendance requirements: you have to be clean and modest. The end. No dresses. No hairbows. No stockings. Just clean and modest. They are kids. They are not role models. The biggest clothing rules in our house are a) Mommy doesn't iron and b) If you can't hand the child a chocolate ice cream cone while he/she is wearing it, your kid shouldn't be wearing it. (Hence, it's a kid, not an adult.) Lucky for you that Your Pastor grasps that kids are kids and should be treated like kids and should act like kids, therefore he can preach right over your screaming baby and kids who move back and forth through the pews without missing a beat and  believes that those youth and kids ministries are vitally important in the church...

4) If you are married to the pastor, people think that your house is supposed to be clean. Like by the wife and stuff 

Bwahahahahahahah!!!! Ah-ha-ha!!!! Seriously. I can't breathe! Oh! Give me a second, give me a second. Breathe, breathe, breathe. No comment. Lucky for you that Your Pastor does dishes and laundry and helps with the kids, hence our house isn't a complete and total disaster zone, because if it were up to me alone... 

5) If you are married to the pastor, people think that you are supposed to be able to bake and take food to sick people and funerals and stuff.

Just like people ask what Donna Lee made at potluck so that they can eat it, you probably want to find out what I brought too so that you can avoid it. Lucky for you, Your Pastor eats anything I put in front of him without complaining and actually cooks, hence he's not dead and can minister to you...

6) If you are married to the pastor, you are supposed to relinquish proprietary rights to your husband on all Sundays, Wednesdays, Holidays, and should anyone in the congregation have the misfortune to get sick while you're on vacation. 

Again, no. I got there first, so I call dibs. You can have him sometimes, but there are circumstances where he's mine. All mine. And sometimes I need him first as a husband and a father before you can have him as a pastor. Lucky for you, Your Pastor loves his congregation so much that he makes time for the both of us, because if it were up to me...

Now don't you appreciate your pastor more now? At least once a month or so someone thinks that The Husband is doing a terrible job representing the Kingdom. Just take comfort in the fact that it could be worse; I could be in charge. Instead, I'll take this silly, compassionate, loving, caring, cooking, cleaning, playing, funny, wonderful man who I call husband, who the kids call Daddy, and who you call Brother Steve, and think I'll keep him. I appreciate you, Pastor. Even if I'm the worst Pastor's Wife in the history of time.