Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Day Four: So. Baptist Convention Under Siege

Tuesday. Big vote day. The Johnson's are in rare form. Now, if we could just find a microphone to yell the truth into, but no such luck.

The most important thing about June 15th is that today is the Wondertwins' day of birth. At 5:50 and 5:52 in the a.m. our married life expanded to include the two most amazing little girls. God has been so abundant in His blessings on our family that I don't know where to start. I'll sum up with this: Elise and Elaina are my precious, insane, smart, funny personal blessings from God. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRLS!

And in GCR, er, I mean, Convention News: Today the theme is "Love Loud". They keep playing what is supposed to be a heartbeat before every video clip, but it really sounds like tribal drums from the movie Jumanji. It's freaking me out. No joke, that movie scared me to death. I watched it before Shorties when The Husband was out of town for the weekend. Had to sleep with a light on. Every time they play the heartbeat I keep having flashbacks.

Since I have decided not to be political or righteously angry about anything important this week, here are some more meaningless observations that I am allowed to be angry about:

1) We sat next to some men at lunch who are here in the hotel with a different convention. Pharmaceutical company, I think. Anyway, two of the three men had on "artfully distressed jeans". I've decided that I'm anti those in men's fashion. It's just stupid looking on a grown man. Grown men should have their jeans distressed by actual work and activity, not by an assembly line. You are a poseur. You just want us to THINK that you've done something physical. And that term "metro sexual" is stupid. You are a girlie man. Grrr.

2) We sometimes show pictures of women's feet being bound in China to explain how women have been abused by their own cultures. I want to put forth that shoes in current Western fashion are similar, and we probably need to have a meeting of the Sisterhood to discuss when high-heeled strappy sandals seemed like a good idea. Especially having walked in said shoes eight miles daily since the convention started. Someone help me. When I complained about having to put them back on this afternoon, The Husband said that he loved them. I asked if he liked them enough to carry me back from the civic center when I became lame for fashion's sake. (insert cricket sound effect here.) He wisely chose not to comment. (I'm not married to a dummy, you know.) Grrr.

3) The people in the room next to us are newlyweds. We hope. Have mercy. It's making me angry for a variety of complicated reasons. :-) Grrr.

4) A blond woman in the voting today turned to her husband during a particularly heated discussion on the convention voting floor and whispered, "So what is the Cooperative Program again, babe?" He laughed as his only response. Her blond girlfriend on the other side said, "I have no idea. Let's go look at the Lifeway booth." That was almost The Moment I Lost It. Ladies: You may be referred to as the weaker vessel in Scripture, but that has nothing to do with your mind. Case in point, it finally took a woman at the microphone on the floor to get a very important point clarified on an icky motion. If we fail to use the voice combined with the intelligence that God has given us, men will be right--we are collectively unfit to govern anything. Get your head out of the mall! Educate yourself about your spiritual life! Do not be content with the status quo! Down with The Man! (Whoops. Wrong speech.) Grrr.

Referring to my previous post point--women who don't want to look like the preacher's wife, see exhibits a and b. These women didn't get the sweater-set memo either. Bravo, Ladies.

Steve says he's proud how concerned I am about the important things, such as snake skin as a fashion statement. I'm pretty proud of myself too. :-) I didn't yell at anyone this week. Yea me! (Of course we head to Universal Studios tomorrow, so I'd better not celebrate just yet...) Grrr.

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