Eccentric = Totally Awesome

I didn't say she wasn't weird. I said she was shy.

So...The Little Flower is a strange kind of shy. She isn't afraid of people, but she's terrified of being stared at or in the middle of a stage or in front of a crowd. She doesn't want to go up front and get an award, talk to strangers (or sometimes friends), or be noticed in any meaningful way.  It's an almost crippling sort of irrational fear of being noticed.
 
Once you get to know the kid you realize several things:

Myrtle Beach: Paper, clipboard, bag of pens

1. She's smart. Seriously smart. Her command of sarcasm and witty puns is spectacular. (She's barely passing math, but she's killing it with the one-liners on a regular.)

2. She's funny. She always, always gets the joke and is frequently making them.

3. She's talented. We competed in Elementary Fine Arts (which is what I'm getting around to) and she had to fill out this "Artist's Concept Form" explaining how she came up with the idea and how long the piece took her to make, (don't worry, I'm going to explain this further), but "It took me one minute" is the truth. It did take her one minute. Which is mind blowing. And that brings us to...

Fine Arts

The Sticks. Lilly's musical instrument.

We never go anywhere without paper, clip board, and bag of pens

I know that her band director, Mr. David, wanted to ring her neck several days in practice. (I know exactly how he feels.) Lilly can't (and won't) play an actual instrument. She will stare at the offending instrument and at you until you simple fold. So, he handed her the sticks. (Yes, the sticks.) Which she held in her hands and touched in time, but refused to actually hit together to make sound. (Not kidding.) She held the sticks an inch apart and sort of moved them toward each other.


And to get her up there with the band, the choir director had to promise (and promise and promise and promise) that the music stand and the music would cover up not just her face but her entire upper body from the view of the crowd. The stubborn child also refused to walk up on the stage by herself. She wanted me to walk on with her and sit beside her the entire time. I bargained until we reached the agreement that I would walk up there with her, get her seated, and then sit on the front row.

Ice Cream Shop: Paper, clipboard, bag of pens.

Mr. David also desperately needed the child in the second performance to hit the cymbals together.  She didn't just balk. She refused to even look at him anymore, because, seriously? You want me to hit together two pieces of brass loudly enough to draw the eyes of everyone in the building to me? Um, no thank you. I'll just sit here and take the failing grade without batting an eyelash. Watch me. (I have no idea where she gets that from.)

Candy Store: Paper, clipboard, bag of pens.

Other things Lilly refuses to do:
1. Walk into the church by herself. (She sat outside the door on the steps one time until I came out looking for her thirty minutes later when she didn't come in from Sunday School.)
2. Walk into the school by herself. (See: People looking at her.)
3. Talk to people she doesn't know. (And sometimes to those she does know.)
4. Order food in a restaurant. (She would starve slap to death first.)
5. Go back for seconds. (Again, people looking at her.)

That is some serious stage fright, Folks.

So, now back to Fine Arts... 

Our school has a state-wide elementary competition featuring art, drama, speech, music, choir, band--so many wonderful talents. The Little Flower is an artist. She has a talent that no one else in the household has--she can express herself on a piece of paper in seconds. She can turn anyone into a cartoon and capture mood, movement, expression, emotion in several strokes of a pen. It's amazing to watch.

Ink on white paper colored pencils. "The Escape"

Well, since the stick/cymbal playing was out of the question (naturally) I wanted her to participate in the one thing she is gifted in--art. Then she asked the Big Question:

Who is going to be looking at it?
 
Me: Judges. Your Classmates. Your Teachers.  Everyone.
Crickets-Crickets-Crickets
Lilly: No.
Me: But, Lil, it's a gift that God has given you and you need to share it.
Lilly: No. I'll share it with Donovin (her best friend).

Ink on white paper colored pencils "Ship Crash"

Me: That's not big enough. We are told to shine our lights in front of men in such a way so that people are pointed to God through us and our gifts.
Lilly: God is doing all right without my help.
Me: (Sigh) We are filling out the paperwork and you are entering two categories. No more discussion.
Lilly: I don't think God likes you FORCING ME to do stuff.
Me: Yes, He does. That's why I'm the mom and you are my child.
Lilly: (pout) Fine. But I don't want to SEE anyone looking at it.
Ahem.

Ink on White Paper Monochromatic 2nd Place "The Nativity"

So, she won. First place in polychromatic and second place in monochromatic. For drawings that took her literally minutes to draw. And when she asked if she had to go up on stage to get her awards I said, Nah. We can pick them up later. No big whoop.

Ink and colored pencils on white paper 1st Place Polychromatic "Inside Outside"

That's right, Friends and Neighbors, I'm raising the Emily Dickinson of the art world. 

(And no advice on how you would address any of those Little Flower issues, please. I'll raise mine and you raise yours, thank you very much. We think she's perfectly wonderful exactly as she is. Eccentric is Awesome in Johnsonville in every possible way.)

Ink on white paper Self Portrait "Avatar"

Self Awareness is a Gift

The First Promposal at Casa de Johnson

And then this happened....

Sister asked T-Ray to her Prom (well, we call it a Junior/Senior Banquet...tom-a-toe, toe-mah-toe.)

He graduated last year and can't exactly ask her, so she had to go for it.

Anyhoo....she made signage (The Husband actually came through with a slogan). T-Ray is a motocross racer, so it fit.

She went to the Best Friend's House (Hey, Abby Jean) to make the sign and get the balloons.


She persuaded his little brother to film it (Hey, G-son). She enlisted his parental units in the scheme--had his mom set up the bike and his dad lure him home from work early.

It was quite a little production. I'm pretty sure she could run the world if she put her mind to it.

I think he liked it.

I'm proud that she thought he was worth the effort and really worked to make it memorable and special. They have been dating for several months now, so she could have just assumed he'd go with her, but she went to extra effort and it showed.

(I think that sort of business sticks with you later in life when the stakes are higher.)

He is an incredibly nice young man with a bright future. His people are fantastic. He's funny and smart and an all-around kind human being. Sure he's an idiot sometimes and flirts with being ridiculous and is a shameless kiss up, but he's the kind of boy you hope your daughters meet and date. (He's the kind of boy you hope your daughters marry one day.)

That might not happen, but then again, we've had a lot of marriages spawn out of our little school in our little town. (A LOT, a lot.)

The absolutely line in the sand at our house isn't your family, your skin color, your grades, your looks, your clothes, or your smarts. None of that really matters when you get right down to it. I've told my kids they can bring home anyone at all under the umbrella of one enormous condition--the human in question must profess Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and exhibit fruit. Like visible, tangible, obvious fruit of the Spirit. And T-Ray has fruit.

(He's not "A fruit" {well, don't ask for confirmation from some of his idiot friends or his brother}, but as in he is bearing Spiritual Fruit.) ;-)

But this is more about Sister than it is even about her boyfriend. She's thoughtful. And purposeful about showing her affection for people. And really makes an effort to make him feel appreciated. And has exhibited qualities and growth over the past few years that astound me. She's maturing into the kind of person you hope your boy meets and marries too. I'm proud of her and the young lady she is growing into.

The pay off? Of course he said yes.

She said, "He was cheesing so hard he could barely talk." :-) I think that means he liked it.

I'm pretty sure this is the definition of "cheesing so hard" right here.

Freedom of Speech Only for "Those Who Agree with Me" Isn't Freedom at All

 People who scream for tolerance are the most intolerant.  Watching the news coverage in Chicago is horrifying because of the sheer stupidity of the American people. I don't care which candidate you support.

My observation is that we have a generation of stupid, loud, obnoxious, angry, foul-mouthed young people who don't understand the concept of respect--for self or others. Every single person has the right to free speech. The protesters are so stupid they don't understand they just completely infringed on The Donald's rights as an American and on everyone who went to hear the man. (Let the man hang himself with his words or not. The truth will usually out on its own.)

Your free speech is not more important than mine.

If you try to silence the opposition, you are in favor of a straight up dictatorship.


Every person interviewed in opposition to the political rally appeared to be completely unable to articulate a single relevant or meaningful concept.  Most couldn't even tell why they were there or what they were protesting. They just gave Donald Trump a four-hour long infomercial on every major news network. For free. And they simultaneously showed the nation that people who protest Trump are borderline simpletons.

And think they won something.


 #deathtofreespeech #moronsonparade #freespeechgoesbothways #thesepeoplecanvote #youarethejokeanddontknowit #protestwithyourintellect #articulateyouropinionwithoutscreaming #orwellwasdeadonit

One More Hot Dog in the Pot

We have two house guests staying with us for two weeks. A woman in our church had to fly out last minute to care for her father who is very ill several states away. Her two teens are in classes with my kids. Instead of pulling them out of school for two weeks, we offered to let them stay with us. Someone at work heard and casually said, "Charlotte, you have a very big heart." I sort of scoffed, because I'm the least merciful person I know.

Before you think I'm being falsely modest, I'm not joking. I'm sort of infamous for being difficult when it comes to mercy. 

It's always crowded.

I believe we make our own way. I believe it's almost always personal fault, not circumstance or accident or something that happened to you.  I believe that you have to decide to live a different way before it can manifest, and most people choose wrong or not at all.

So, I blame personal failure for what most would call happenstance. It's why that mercy thing is so hard for me. But the weird exception in my life has been twofold: teenagers and dogs. (Maybe God thinks it's funny.)

Regular day in my kitchen.

It never occurred to me not to offer for the kids to stay with us. I didn't have to ask The Husband either. He almost always lets me have my way (because that is the kind of love he exhibits for me daily). I just said, "Hey, we are having house guests for two weeks."

He grunted and said, "Sure we are."

Then he cooked ravioli and homemade sauce and mozzarella bread and made sure each of those kids had two helpings.

Where would we all sit to eat?

Now, keep in mind that we have eight people in this house already. Eleven are rolling around here tonight. My mother lives next door, but she comes over for laundry and eats all of her meals with us. She's come over tonight, because she doesn't like to stay alone in the "weather" (if it sprinkles or f5 tornado it's 'weather').

We have five kids. We have four (FOUR) dogs (some of them are actually ours and some of them transplants aka neighbor dogs that came and never left). We have one misbehaving cat.  We have boyfriends who visit and family friends who come to fellowship weekly. It's like a circus all of the time.

What it looks like when only seven of us travel.

We have people in and out all of the time day and night. We are busy, stretched, half crazed. We can't eat a sit down meal together most of the time, because there isn't a table big enough in my house.

My washer and dryer have never been idle more than six hours at a time in two decades. I have four large stock pots and we always serve buffet style, because that's what it takes to feed a dozen people at every meal. We have two refrigerators and two freezers and have to set a shower schedule to get everyone cleaned up.

My living room is always this full

And you know what? We've never gone hungry or without. God has been good to our family, usually through the hands of other people. I can't even envision a world where I don't say, "Sure, you can just come stay with us. We'll work it out. We'll fit you in. We'll feed you. We'll take you. You are welcome here."


Loving people is going to cost you something. Be careful that you aren't talking about living a Christ-following life and then shoving your family into a bubble, not allowing other people to participate in the party. You need to have open doors, open heart, open life.

What it looks like to feed the whole show.

If it's  only "your four and no more" you have missed out on the best parts of fellowship. The messy parts. The real parts. The scary parts. The damaged parts. The fun parts. The lovely parts. The best parts.

Invite people in. Let them see you as you really are, not as you want or hope to be. And you'll be surprised at how God moves in those relationships. How He is revealed through your love and open, unprotected sharing. Don't be afraid. My unmerciful heart can do it, so I know yours can too. 

We love Chinese food. Man at the take out place asked, "How many people do you feed with all of this?" The Husband responded, "All of them, Buddy. All of them."

Regular nightly meal.

Always room for one more in the house. Sometimes you have to get friendly, but we'll get you in there.

Love/Hate Relationships

Before you read this post, I am writing hypothetically and this is a general opinion article, not about a specific situation or people. I am in a good place right now without conflict. Let's keep it that way, shall we?

Social media and I have a love/hate relationship.

• I love the convenience of it. 
• I love being able to keep up with friends and family who I don't interact with regularly.
• I love that you can post information to a group and instantly everyone is informed about assignments and schedule changes and important info.
• I love that you can break large groups into small groups for specific tasks.
• I love that you can make events and share them with people.
• I love that I can see birthdays and wedding photos and who has lost a tooth or gained a car or dumped a boyfriend.

But...

• I hate that you can post instantly what is in your head, sometimes bypassing your internal filter.
• I hate that you can write things that aren't true about other people or situations that you really know nothing about.
• I hate that people can comment to their heart's desire about things that don't involve them.
• I hate game requests.
• I hate that the computer keeps recommending ads based on my reading/preferences.
• I hate that my life can be stalked by people I don't prefer. 

Seriously, you better not ever talk smack about my family or make half-veiled commentary about private things on social media, or I will take this off of the Internet and into Real Life so fast it will make your hard drive burst into flames.

I have absolutely no tolerance for ridiculousness and will not accept it from anyone. I will call you, walk down the hall to talk to you, come see you where you work, drop in at your house, make an appointment in a public space, but I will NEVER call you out on the Internet in some veiled attempt at character assassination. You will know I'm coming for you. Every. Single. Time.

Because conflicts are to be resolved in person, in private. And the entire point of conflict ought to be resolution every single time. We need to reconcile, forgive, and move on. Airing supposed grievances on Facebook or twitter makes you petty and small. You are a coward hiding behind a computer screen.

What is private is private and shouldn't be aired on the Internet. And if you choose to post things in public that should have been dealt with behind closed doors that concern me and mine, I will be bringing it to your house. We forget that our actions always have consequences.

I pray that I am never one of your consequences. You should probably pray likewise. And remember to deal with people as you wish to be dealt with.

Good Day/Bad Day: You Choose

So, today was a good day/bad day.

Fierce

Last cheer competition of the season (good day/bad day).

I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday (bad day). But the alarm went off and we were on time (good day).

My child's stunt group performed beautifully (good day) and still lost to a team who had half of the difficulty level (bad day). 

The large cheer group performed the hardest stunts with the greatest degree of difficulty and still lost (bad day).

rocking it like Patriots!

(Sour grapes? Nah. Sometimes that's just how it goes and you have to get over it and go on. The best man does NOT always win. Get over yourself.)

We were the only team cheering in skirts, and let me say, you all looked wonderful, daahhhhling. Just wonderful (It's always a good day when you are dressed to kill). 

One of our stunt groups blew their big stunt but didn't kill or break the girl (bad day/good day). They nailed it in Jacksonville, but today was not their day. It goes like that some times. Get back on the horse.

We ate at I-Hop and had Steel City Pops (good day). (That satsuma cream pop was divine!)

one of these things is not like the others...

I napped for two hours after getting home without being woken up one time by an emergency or need or question (excellent day).

The Husband brought home Chinese food, so I didn't have to cook or clean up afterwards (great day).

I watched my show on Netflix for two hours without a single interruption (miraculous day).

This statue was on rollers. We found out the hard way.

My kids are all scattered and happy and healthy (good day).

Naynuh is watching Monsters Inc. with The Little Flower (and they are giggling maniacally). The Number One Son is camping with his boys (which is his Happy Place).  Big E slept with me all afternoon and is cleaning her room (which she finds blissful). Sister is with T-Ray (the boyfriend) and his family at the races (I hope she was able to stay awake!). The Husband is snoring in the bedroom with the sounds of Porter Wagner on in the background (his favorite relaxing activity). (all in the good day column.)

Squad in Mean Girls pose. Naturally. Because if you can't win, be fabulous.

When measuring your days, be sure to end with more in the Good Day column than in the Bad Day column. It takes effort to see the good in things sometimes. Always make the effort. It's what we are called to do in counting our blessings daily. It's purposeful and doesn't happen without thought and application. And know that sometimes it just is what it is. The good, the bad, the ugly all make up the tapestry of your life. Don't miss it.

Rolled in the Fun Bus with the Best Friends (always a good day)

Laughed, joked, finished strong (always finish strong).

Big E came for moral support for her sister. (Support those you love in their endeavors.)

Fly high. Everyone is always watching how you soar and how you fall. Do both gracefully.

I'm on a Roll Again

A handful of random rants...

"If you don't help with a particular endeavor in any meaningful way, your opinion about it means less than nothing. If, however, you are fully invested in the cause and have given of your time, talents, funds, hard work, and sacrificed personally, please, by all means, share your thoughts. I will listen. 

But remember that listening politely isn't an indicator that I will agree with you or change for you. It simply means that I have good manners." 
~ Mrs. C Said So

"Remember that the spiritual establishment chewed on Christ's behavior every single day He walked the earth. They didn't like Him, because He met with the people on the edge of the pit and engaged in fellowship with them. 

Where do you stand in your congregation? Are you in the middle of the holy huddle judging the actions of the brethren or on the edge of the world loving the people who live there? 

I can promise you this...I would rather be able to identify with sinners without judgment and in love than to live a single day as a spiritually pompous jack wagon.  Jesus Christ said, 'Same'." ~ Mrs. C Said So

"If you have to tell people about your spiritual deeds or point out your holiness, you're completely missing the boat. 

(And side note--no one really likes those people, and their influence becomes negligible as a result. No one tolerates a spiritually pompous person for long. It's too lofty for actual humans to live up to that standard of judgment on a daily.) 

~Mrs. C Said So (With a side note from Sister Sunshine Charlotte)


"My best advice is to shut your mouth about other people's stuff, because the length of rope you judge them with will probably be your noose. God is funny like that." ~ Mrs. C Said So