Thursday, January 14, 2016

Offensive Part Deux

Oh, and let me clarify about my I Am Offended--GET OUT blog--the rebel flag does not belong on the state house. Neither did the rainbow on the white house. The rebel flag is offensive to a large people group. I get that. I'm sorry, but that Gay Pride business is just as offensive to another demographic. How about we just get over ourselves and let both fly? True freedom of speech shuts this whole stupid mess down. Just let the rednecks have their flag and let the gays have their flag, and everyone goes home fat and happy.

(Sheesh. Gonna make people leave the Wal-Mart because of a stupid shirt? The Wal-Mart which has such a high standard of dress code in the first place. Keep in mind these are the same people who actually produced an ISIS cake after refusing to make a rebel flag cake. You, Sirs, are insane. A SHIRT! Where is my "I Hate Everyone" Shirt? I think ima wear that bad boy all week and see who I can offend.)

Other things that offend me:

  1. Stupidity (really, don't we all hate stupid people?). 
  2. People who spit in public (while not engaged in some sort of sporting activity).
  3. Anyone who disparages fried foods (see No. 1: Stupidity).
  4. Vegans (come on--you know you think your lifestyle is superior and are condescending to everyone about it). 
  5. The Geek Squad (who keep taking my stuff but not actually repairing it). 
  6. The entire ABC Family Channel (because most of the programming is actually inappropriate for my family).
  7. Hallmark movies (for being vapid). 
  8. Auburn (I really, really hate Auburn). 
  9. Women who try to steal my husband (it happens when you're married to a fantastic man, but I will cut you, Sister.). 
  10. People who say the F-word in public. I have kids. Yes, I know they've heard it before, but I'd prefer not to hear while standing next to them. Keep it to yourself.
  11. Packaging I can't open.
  12. People who fuss about church but don't actually go there or do anything but occupy a pew once they get there.
  13. Auburn. Auburn offends me. ROLL TIDE! 
Pass the Tylenol.

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