It was inevitable.
It soon became apparent after the National Geographic Special that ran in our front yard a few months ago that we were going to be With Puppies sometime this spring. (It was quite the educational experience at our house too: as in from Lily, “What Bi-kit doin’ to no-ball, Mommy?”)
And the natural result was that Snowball (see the Yard Dogs post if you’re not up to speed) had those very puppies in my carport on Monday. I’d have taken Snowball to get fixed long ago, but The Husband INSISTS that the Yard Dogs aren’t Our Dogs and refused to haul them to the vet. Now we have seven puppies that also aren’t Our Dogs, yet, as the evidence clearly proves, they are living in my carport (aka Sanford and Son).
Of course, following right in time with the Johnson Good Luck, they were born on the coldest night in months. Really, really cold. So, I spent most of the night running back and forth between bed and the carport making sure that Snowball had the puppies covered up with the quilt and that she’s not on top of the quilt and accidentally smothering them to death. Here is what I rigged to keep everyone warm.
The Husband went to see the man up the road who technically owns Snowball, and he was pretty clear that she isn’t his dog because she lives at our house. (He has a point.) So, now, I’m free to put a collar on Snowball and haul her to get fixed. Well, I might have to sneak her past The Husband. (Shhhhh)
And folks, starting May 21st, have I got a deal for you.
Choose from seven beautiful full-blood mutt puppies.
Five solid black sweeties. Sired by a gorgeous gargantuan full-blooded black lab with papers (who came to the wrong side of the tracks to catch up with our white terrier mix. I know how big he is since I personally chased him off with a broom every day for a week, not because he was after Snowball, but because Biscuit was obviously having some Small Man issues and kept trying to fight over Snowball with the monster dog who outweighed him by, oh, 100 pounds).
One solid caramel colored runt: Clearly the baby daddy is Biscuit the Jack Russell/beagle something-or-another. (Johnson Bloodline if there ever was a one.) This one’s the under-the-radar pick of the litter. (Puppy voted most likely to become another Johnson Yard Dog.)
One black and white spotted little fuzz ball: also possibly a Biscuit baby (and the puppy voted to go first because it’s C.U.T.E!).
If you sign up now to pick one up the week of May 19th, they are FREE! Yes, that’s right, FREE! Folks, you can’t get cheaper than that. Any date after that, and I’m afraid I’m gonna have to charge ya. So, (to quote my favorite huckster of all time, the great buy-here/pay-here car salesmen god Chip Ellis) put the hot dog down, Baby, and come get you a 100% purebred Johnson Yard Dog.