Friday, June 19, 2015

Coming of Age Twinning

Wearing panties on our heads because we can.

As you know by now we have twins. Wonder Twins. E-Squared. The Dynamic Duo. Nayhuh and Big E. Well, they turned 15 last week.

This is where it gets weird.

They have a friend named Lumpy. (I didn't make up that nickname for the blog--that's his real life nick name.) He's in their class. He's one of the Number One Son's best friends and fishing buddy. Lumpy has been over at my house more than my kids some weeks. He has a toothbrush in the drawer. That kind of friend.

Naynuh and Big E--together
Like the twins, he's a late birthday boy, turning 15 in the summer. So, everyone in the 9th grade but these three have driving permits. In 4th grade the girls and Lump made a pact. They'd all go together on the same day and get their permits. All was going according to plan. The Wonder Twins voted to WAIT a whole WEEK after their birthday and get their permits with Lumpy on his birthday.

(Life Lesson: Friendship requires sacrifice.)

only one twin in the car at the DMV

But then, one of the twins had the opportunity to go to a last minute opening at summer camp, which begins the very day of the permit excursion.

The twins discussed this dilemma in shorthand for ten whole seconds and turned to me and said, "No big whoop. Big E will go Friday by herself before she leaves for camp and Naynuh will go Monday with Lumpy as planned."

Shocked, I asked, "But what about the twinning?"

For those of you without any knowledge of twins--Twinning is this: It is all of the things that you ALWAYS do together--milestones that make your relationship special because they occur at the same time:

  • Share a crib
  • Shots at the doctor's office
  • First teeth the same week
  • First day of kindergarten
  • First day of high school
  • Birthdays
You get the picture. Twinning is part of what makes the girls unique. Separate. Set apart. It's part of their identity.

Permits definitely fall into the Twinning thing.

I was advocating dumping Lumpy and going Friday to get the permits together. (He'll live.) Or Naynuh could get her permit with E and then just go with him Monday for moral support. Something like that.

only one twin getting that paper
But then Naynuh said this: "No way. We made a pact, Mom. Like a promise. E has this awesome opportunity to go to camp and she should go. She also shouldn't have to wait another week to get her permit. And we can't ask Lumpy to wait. And I can keep the pact. I can go with Lump and get my permit just like we planned on Monday. It wouldn't be right to make Lumpy wait another week because E has an opportunity. I'm going with Lump."

Big E nodded her head, standing beside her twin the whole time then added, "It's no big deal. We are still Twinning." Then they closed the deal with the fist bump.

Yes, yes you are. Both of you were modeling self-sacrifice, kindness, thinking of others before yourselves, wanting the best for your friend and for your sister, no one crying 'it's not fair' or 'why does she get to...'. I am more proud of you than you can possibly know.

And I hope you continue right on Twinning just like that.


P.S. As we pulled into the DMV this afternoon, Big E did waiver however. She said, "I wish Naynuh was here. We always do the big stuff together, and I hate this. I miss my sister." But she went in and did it anyway.

(Sometimes it's hard, but you still have to go forth and do good. Even if you have to go alone.)

So, the next blog will be Naynuh doing the same. :-) Twinning.

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