Friday, August 27, 2010

Bad to the Bone

Lillian started Big Girl School a mere four weeks ago.

To put this in context, I have to back up a little bit. The very first week of 4K last year we received a note home that said, "Lilly was involved in a brawl today...".

Now, I don't know about you, but the word "brawl" used in context with four-year-olds was a little shocking. Seriously, I'm expecting drunks hurling barstools at one another when I hear that word, not a five-year-old demanding her yellow crayon back from a kid who out weighed her by 30 lbs. But if you know The Little Flower even a wee bit you'll know that "brawl" was probably the perfect word to describe the altercation.

In the span of four short weeks in Kindergarten for Big Girls she flashed the entire lunchroom by lifting her dress up over her head, understands and is intimately familiar with the Time Out process, and ran top speed out of the lunch room and down the hall to hide in the bathroom where the teacher couldn’t find her for some length of time.

I'm not finished yet.

When her name was put on the board for disobedience, she waited for the class to go to snack and then snuck back into the classroom under the pretext of going potty and erased her name from the board.

She stole a toy from the teacher’s stash and then lied completely straight faced about it. And when busted in thievery and lying, she stomped her foot at the teacher, aimed the stink-eye, and screamed at maximum volume, “You are the worst teacher in the whole world!”

One of her classmates made what was sure to be accurate color commentary about her theft, cover up, and consequent lock up in Time Out, which almost resulted in a complete throw down.  (And I have no doubt would have been a major problem for him. Ahem.)

Okay then.

This is also the same kid who when learning about the creation story during Bible time raised her hand and wanted to know why God didn’t just make the world in ONE day. Why did he take seven whole days to get down to business? Duh.

(That’s a pretty good question for a kindergartener.)

She also refuses to put her name on the top of her worksheets and instead writes: “Lilly loves Mommy” (Okay, so that one is hard to fuss about.)

I don’t know how her teacher stands it. I’d have already hung her up by her feet or locked her in a closet somewhere. The funniest part is that every time she acts so crazy (her normal state of existence), the natural response to this nuttiness is to laugh. Loudly.

And share the story with others.

Making it harder to beat her the next time.

(And I’m pretty sure she knows it.)

Hopefully, the Memory Enhancers* she received at the house after each of these incidents will help.

(But I am familiar with her gene pool and really doubt it.)

(Wouldn’t you just kill to be a fly on the wall in that classroom?)

*tail warmings and/or having to write personal apologies to offended people--meaning her penmanship is going to totally rock.

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