Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Saucy Pirate Wench Vs. Sister Sunshine

This is documentation of "The Sister Sunshine Moment that Almost Was" via Facebook. To follow this tale, you'll need a little background info:

This was posted as my Sis-in-Law's (The Husband's sister) Facebook Status:

     If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this on your wall. DON'T JUST IGNORE THIS because the Bible says if you deny Him, He will deny you in front of His Father at the Gates of Heaven. This is the simplest test. If  you love Jesus and you are not ashamed of him, copy this and put it on your wall. God will smile at you! :)
(I'm not sure that God really gives a rip about your Facebooking habits, but that's another rant for another day.) Below it, because he’s The Husband, he wrote something cute and smarty pants to his sister:

      The Husband: Some of us have been sharing God's love long before Facebook ..glad u could find Time to push a button and join us in our mission.
Clever, pithy, witty smart remark that’s true; posting something about Christ on Facebook has nothing to do with actually witnessing and evangelizing (hence, there is a dearth of I Was Saved On Facebook groups).  His funny sister, Diana, would totally get this--he's teasing her. Some people have no sense of humor, so this Crazy Facebook Chick (who we don’t know and doesn’t know us) responded right under The Husband’s post with:

     Crazy Facebook Chick: You know, I may be wrong but just from reading Mr. Johnson's posts he doesn't sound very much like a Christian, much less a pastor. He sounds rude & almost sarcastically condescending. If this is not the case then I apologize it's just the impression he has given me. Sorry Diana. By the way, Diana, get the message out any way you can! EVEN if it means clicking buttons on a computer! You never know who will see it.
Never being one to Let it Lie, The Husband quickly responded:

      The Husband: Hehehe..he's nothing but trouble. ..wouldn't listen to a sermon title much less a full sermon he might preach. ..however. .I feel quite certain this fb exchange will make it into a sermon illustration concerning being judgmental.. lol
      Crazy Facebook Chick: I am not judging you. I said that was my IMPRESSION of you. And, as I posted, I don't know you but that's the IMPRESSION you are giving. You made it sound like Diana was wrong for trying to spread God's message on here.  I took offense to that, Sir.

At this point, my alter ego, Sister Sunshine Charlotte almost showed out. You have got to be kidding me. This sort of deal is the reason people HATE Christians. Steve was picking at his SISTER and making a joking point about how clicking a button does literally NOTHING for advancing the cause of Christ. But, being The Husband and perfect gentleman and pastor, he smoothed things over with the Crazy Facebook Chick with the following exchange:

      The Husband: I'm sorry. ..having a bit of fun..I did say LOL. She (is my sister) and I pick all the time... sorry to have offended you. is too short not to laugh a little. ..

      Crazy Facebook Chick: Well that explains EVERYTHING! LOL if you are her brother then give her absolute misery! I apologize.

Me? I wasn't fully satisfied with that. I wanted to explain to Crazy Facebook Chick in great detail  via a very polite, well-mannered email that she is the reason people reject the message of salvation:

1) There are too many arbitrary crazy rules made up by The Religious Right (so now we aren’t allowed to be sarcastic? That’s it, I’m out of the club!).

2) We are insulting to those we believe to be our spiritual inferiors instead of focusing on restoring broken people.

3) We are held to a church standard of “spiritual behavior” that is not in any way representative of a Biblical standard of spiritual behavior. (I'm pretty sure that Christ and Paul used sarcasm quite effectively on several occasions to call people out. Look it up.)

So, in gearing up for a Monster Rant because I Am Not Yet Satisfied, I cruise on over to Crazy Facebook Chick’s home page and glance through her public photos just to check out what kind of human being I'm dealing with (Know the Animal You Hunt 101). I kid you not, this is one of her profile photos (obviously, I've cut her head off):

(insert cricket sounds here)

Let us recall that she actually used the word "impression" in all caps bold when saying that The Husband's tone indicated that he wasn't a Christian or at least he wasn't a very good Christian (so glad to know there's a rating system). There’s absolutely no need to waste a perfectly good Sister Sunshine Charlotte Monster Rant calling someone out who's discrediting her own self via her lifestyle. In public. On Facebook.
  • Publicly fussing at someone for being a spiritual hypocrite?--costly to the kingdom because it turns people off the message.
  • Condescending to a pastor who is joking with his sister about something that’s absolutely none of you business?--just costly to you personally because your righteous indignation is nothing but foolishness.
  • But photographs of yourself in your public profile dressed as a naughty pirate wench after berating the pastor for not being spiritual enough and questioning his very salvation because he used sarcasm and gave off the wrong IMPRESSION? Priceless.

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