Monday, September 1, 2008

The Sofa Saga

Well, we played our first Upward football game and cheered at our first game this weekend. The kids had a big time of it, although it was hotter than the surface of the sun for that 11:00 game. It was a lazy sort of weekend (for a change), and I am thankful! We spent Labor Day relaxing around the house.

We went to Grandbear’s house to see the big game Saturday night (ROLL TIDE!), and on our way over there, the Husband and I looked briefly at a new sofa, probably in reaction to all of the Labor Day sales being advertised on television, that and the sad state of our faithful old sofa.

The furniture sales people pounce when you hit the door wanting to know how they can help you. Short story here--they can’t help me. Essentially, there are only maybe three sofas in any given showroom (no matter how large) that meet my criteria: quasi-dark fabric, nubby material to hide stains, no gold earth tones (gross), nothing with loose cushions, and nothing that is pretending to be something it’s not (i.e., no animal prints, no faux leather), so I can go whipping through a furniture store in record time.

We’ve been thinking about it for awhile (translation: I’ve been thinking about it since the day I realized I couldn’t flip the cushions any other way to complete the stain-free illusion). We’ll probably do like everything else and will discuss it for six months before we make a decision about doing anything. Now, before you say ‘just do it and get it over with’ there are a lot of reasons for this procrastination and inability to commit to a sofa set.

First, the Royal We haven’t fully committed to the New Sofa Idea yet because of the Little Flower and her amazing destructive force of nature. We wonder if we shouldn’t wait another year until she’s completely torn the stuffing out of the current furniture and spilled her last sippy cup on the cushions until we commit to tormenting another sofa to death.

Second, we just don’t have time to get it done in a single day. Who has a whole day to do anything? I have to go an hour here, an hour there, an hour the next day, and then I can’t remember where I saw the sofa that I liked in the first place because it’s two or three weeks between these hour-long furniture shopping expeditions. (I’d fall over dead from shock if I had more than two consecutive hours to do anything that I wanted by myself without anyone in tow. And have you ever tried to furniture shop with four kids with you? Yeah, that’s happening.)

Third, there’s the sofa material discussion. Leather or fabric? The pros and cons are endless. Do we buy new tables? Lamps? Do we take advantage of the free delivery or no tax weekend? Do we buy something with loose cushions that are potential fort building materials (con) but can be flipped over after the first Kool-Aid spill (pro) or cushions that are attached forgoing the fort building (pro) and can’t ever be flipped over (con)?

Fourth, do we buy a sofa and chair like we have now or a sofa and love seat and chair or a sectional or a sofa and chair and use what we’ve already got to supplement...You see why I don’t have a new sofa yet? I can’t even keep which kid likes mayo on their ham sandwich straight much less make a decision about a sofa I’m going to have to keep in good shape until everyone graduates high school. My brain hurts.

It looks like we’ll be sitting on this sofa until I just flip out, pull up to the nearest furniture showroom (because I’ve got exactly three minutes between school and football practice and gymnastics and making something for pot luck and grocery shopping), stick my head in the door and throw my Visa card at the first salesman who is up, buying the leopard print, faux leather sectional with loose cushions because it’s the only one I can see from the front door of the showroom while keeping one eye on my kids in the van in the parking lot.

I'll keep you posted.

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