The Vows

What the wedding vows should say. You should also repeat them at your baby dedication to your kids. 

• Your enemy is my enemy. 

• I will stand in front of any danger real or perceived that comes at us from the front. You guard my six. 

• I can say what I’d like about you, but I will physically assault anyone who speaks against you. 

• If you turn into a zombie in the apocalypse I will stab you in the eye and put you down, because that shell you walk around in has nothing to do with who you are. 

• That being said about your outer shell—I will love you pot bellied, bald, stretch marked, scarred, and changed from your present form. I will love you when you are dirty, bloated, vomiting, crusty, leaky, and stinky. I expect you to return the favor. 

• I will also love you when you are angry, difficult, cranky, not a morning person, on your cycle, irrational, and when you aren’t loving me back very well. Basically, I will love you when you are unlovable. 

• It’s a marathon not a sprint. I will carry the water sometimes if you promise to do the same for me when I’m tired. 

• Money comes and goes. There will never ever be enough of it for all of your wants. Don’t waste time arguing about it. 

• Get over yourself more often than not. 

• Sometimes it really is the other person's fault. Forgive them when they apologize. Keep forgiving them when they don't deserve it. Do it over and over until it sticks. 

• Sometimes it really is your fault. Apologize quickly. Really mean it. 

• Endurance is more important than speed or skill. Don’t forget it when you’re in the lull.  

• And finally, be flexible--because love covers a multitude of sins, but flexibility means you bend without breaking, and we are going to need that skill with kids and each other.