Alpha and Omega

Taken one hour after diagnosis.

This photo was taken the day we found out Elise had cancer. We'd gone in for a CT scan in the morning and expected results (results meaning we expected nothing serious) approximately five days later only to be called by our general practitioner's office to come in immediately for results.

Taken on first day of last in-patient cycle chemo. 

Steve and I found out she had lymphoma (unsure what kind and how severe). We went home immediately and told Elise. I'd cried about an hour solid before being able to tell her. Then after we told her, I leaked another hour. This photo makes it apparent that I've been squalling, but E was completely calm. Maybe shock? But she kept hugging me and telling me over and over that she loved me, and it was all going to be okay regardless. She comforted me more than I comforted her that day.

Fast forward...

This photo was today, the beginning of her last chemo cycle. We still have radiation to plow through (which is going to be the hardest, most expensive, physically demanding, and difficult part), but this is the last day of in-patient chemo if everything goes correctly. We've had some down days. We had some sad days. We've had some hard days.

I've cried a handful of times between then and now. Less than I would have expected. Mostly because Elise is so strong. Steve is so supportive. Lynn is so helpful. Elaina is such a natural mom. Carter is so compassionate. And Lillian is so easy. Everyone in Johnsonville has played a significant part in the success of our household. And there are countless people outside of our immediate house who have supported us beyond all measure.

But here's what I really want to tell you about what has happened between these two photos--one on the first day of our diagnosis and one at the beginning of our last cycle.

Nothing. Nothing has happened.

We are exactly the same.

We are (still) a family who loves one another completely, irrationally, totally, magnificently, loudly, overwhelmingly, powerfully, and wholly. (There are no people breathing air who love each other more than those who live in my house.)

We are (still) people of great faith.

We are (still) in tact.

We are (still) hopeful.

We are (still) present.

Family and Friends are sometimes the same thing. 

We are (still) supportive.

We are (still) loved.

We are (still) rich.

We are (still) powerful.

We are (still) resilient.

We are (still) everything God planned for us to be.

We are (still) undefeated.



I hope that when your time of struggle and testing comes (and rest assured, come it will) that you are able to say that He has been faithful even in adversity. No matter the journey or the outcome, I will praise His name! I am most thankful of all that we are...still. And it's only because He is Always.