1.) Lillian ate chocolate off of the floor in my classroom even after I told her to drop it. My response? I laughed. Okay, so maybe she needed a spanking, but seriously? I might eat chocolate off of the floor too. I also happen to know that it was her sister's from snack. (Not that it makes any difference, since it was ON THE FLOOR, but you see where I'm coming from.)
|Making everyone comply |
one photo at a time
|Lovely. Just lovely.|
4.) I once spanked the wrong child and then blamed her for it. Loudly.
5.) The first thing I taught my girls to do independently in the kitchen was to make their own breakfast so that I could sleep later. My kids still think it's like a cardinal sin worthy of a Papal visit for absolution if they wake me up too early on Saturday morning. (I'm still not sure that I actually repent of this one.)
6.) If I can't figure out who did it, everyone is punish-ed.
|Lillian dressed like a homeless person.|
7.) My kids are obedient out of Big Fear. I threaten any sort of public humiliation to achieve total world domination. I will dance in the orthodontist's office. I will post Nekkid Bebe Photos if you hack my Facebook, so on and so forth. And they know I mean it. The threat of your mother throwing down in the dentist's office is powerful (and probably psychologically damaging), but rather effective at the same time.
8.) The Little Flower is wearing all of her brother's hand-me-downs. What? She doesn't know or care. Why do you?
9.) The Husband and I are thinking about going to Disney without the kids. I think that might be over the top even for me.
10.) I'm still Mother of the Year in Johnsonville. Of course, I'm running unopposed, but whatever.