Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Blue Light Special
The Husband got a speeding ticket from a state trooper on the way home from Mississippi. He'd gone over to pick up some Vacation Bible School materials from a sister church, and on the way back, was obviously a little over eager to get home. Lovely.
When the trooper pulled him over he said, "The reason I stopped you, Mr. Johnson was that I clocked you right at 80."
The Brain Trust responded, "Yep. That's about what I had on mine too."
(This is why he ISN'T Joel Osteen.)
So, naturally, I asked him if he played The Pastor Card, and he said that he tried his darndest.
Trooper: "Where were you headed in such a hurry?"
The Pastor: "Well, I, ahem, pastor a church and was hauling these VBS supplies back to serve the children of our church and I guess I was just anxious to get started..."
Trooper: "Are you still at the address in Wilton?"
The Pastor (insert Foghorn Leghorn voiceover here): "No, I'm pastoring another church now, but I pastored a church there as well."
After all of that flag waiving, no question that the trooper must have been one of those atheists (or at the very least not a Southern Baptist), because surely no one else would ticket The Right Reverend transporting a van-load of VBS materials. Who wants that spiritual mojo hanging over them? It's clearly some sort of cult plot. (Of course, call me crazy, it also could have something to do with going 80 in 65.)
Naturally, I immediately contacted the church secretary, treasurer, and clerk to find out how exactly we file that particular expense on the monthly expense report :-) and was told that we don't have a fund for that. (gasp!)
What? No fund for speeding tickets? Are you sure you people are Baptist? We've got a fund for toilet paper, but not for a lead-footed preacher? Then someone wiser than myself suggested, "You should put down that the expense is for 'transporting life-saving materials'."
That Southern Baptist Humor cracks me up. :-)