Two youth from school/church came trick or treating to Casa Johnson last night. When they first left the McDonald's in town, hunting up something to do, they went to the coach's house and borrowed "costumes" from the young boys who live there. Cowboy outfits. So, thirty minutes later, all dressed up as Tex and Roy complete with stick horses, hats, and pop guns, they rang the doorbell of the Offensive Line Coach's house, and he promptly asked the quarterback and star running back why they were dresssed up as Brokeback Mountain. Ahem.
Talk about your quick change up. Suddenly, one was a cowboy and one had on the mask from Scream and a tasteful sweatshirt with hoodie.
Which is where they enter Scene II, Stage Left, Casa Johnson. 8:30 in the p.m. the doorbell rings. We are all showered and in our jammies watching the Halloween episode of Dancing with the Stars. When the bell rings, I tell Elise that it's her turn to get the door. She gets the bag of Little Debbies (we never have trick or treaters, but just in case, the light is on and the Little Debbie black and orange cakes are ready to rock). She sees one teen in a Scream mask, puts the snack cake in his pillow case and shuts the door.
Pause.
So, I go to the door with Elise. Hiding behind Chris in the Scream Mask is Will the Cowboy who aims his wooden gun and says, "Put your hands up" at the same time Chris in the Scream Mask eases his face around the door frame.
I don't know whose house they thought they were at, but in Johnsonville, this isn't a moment for running and screaming; this is a moment to go Sister Sunshine on 'em.
Elise Johnson assumed the Wonder Woman Rape Prevention Attack Stance, feet spread to shoulder level, and then bashed Chris's nose in through his mask. I mean a quality, open-palm, straight upward shot to the face. It was a beautiful thing.
Chris, who was now holding his face and moaning, dropped down enough for Elise to finally get a good view of Will behind him (who was now pointing and laughing hysterically) and she screamed, "Oh, it's WILL! It's Will!" That's right, Elise thought she was under attack and instead of her "flee" spinal reaction kicking in, the "fight" spinal reaction overrode it and she jacked that other kid up.
Awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment