The Four Shorties: 30 Days of Thankful--Day 21--The World's Greatest Mom Title

Sunday, November 20, 2011

30 Days of Thankful--Day 21--The World's Greatest Mom Title

Not only did I let this photo shoot

keep on going, this was our

Christmas card.

Today I am thankful for the title of World's Greatest Mom. (Why are you laughing?)

It could happen. I mean, we all have our good points and our bad points, the goal is just to get the good to outweigh the bad, right?

So, if we're being honest, here are some reasons why I should and shouldn't be awarded the title...

Let's see...on the negative side...

I'm a terrible housekeeper.

I'm an average cook.

I'm too busy.

I'm distracted most of the time.

I've got a line of folks waiting on me for something, most of whom I can't actually help.

I ignore my kids often.

I have potty training photos of all
the Shorties, and I'm not afraid to use them.

I ignore my husband even more often.

I left a kid once at a fall festival, not at our church, but across town. I didn't even know she was gone. They called me and asked if I'd forgotten something, to which I promptly responded, "Um, not that I know of."

I never check texts. I almost never check email. And I don't answer my phone half of the time. I am not dead or ignoring you, I just forgot about it. Really.

You absolutely have to brush your teeth before you're getting a kiss.

You can't have a phone until you can drive.

I told you so.

You can't wear make up until you are in high school.

You can't go on a car date until you can drive, and I have to know his family, his address, where he goes to church, and every single other person he has ever dated or been friends with. (I'm not joking.)

I have stacks of random stuff from one end of the house to the other that you aren't allowed to touch. (Seriously, we're like a couple of stacks away from being an intervention on Hoarders.)

We don't go to the doctor until an appendage has fallen off or you've barfed up a lung.

I hate television and go through the house randomly turning them off in the middle of your show and might even include a lecture about losing IQ points for watching it.

Nutrition failure even in diapers

Homework is your problem, not my problem. Figure it out on your own. No, I don't care if you fail--I didn't fail, you failed. (No mercy.)

I once spanked the wrong kid and then, instead of apologizing, I screamed, "Well, I'm sure you did SOMETHING today that I missed!" and stomped off.

No, I will not help you clean your room, hence it is YOUR room.

Once I get in the bed and nest there, I'm not getting out unless you have set something on fire or fallen from a great height.

But on the positive side...

You can totally build a wicked fort in my living room anytime you get the yen.

I served cake for dinner once.

Absolutely you can feed
yourself. No worries.

We have gone to the movies (like in public) in our pajamas more than once.

You never, ever have to wear a hair bow or anything that qualifies as "itchy" if you don't want to. Not even to weddings or funerals.

If you can't eat chocolate while wearing it, we aren't buying it.

We're having a tea party right now at 8:00 on a school night complete with the For Good Wedding China.

We have art supplies in every single medium randomly placed all over the house, so feel free to create something at will.

I have 18 kinds of sweetened cereal in my house for dessert or if you don't like what's on the table for supper. (Hey, the box says 'fortified with vitamins and minerals'.)

There is no bedtime on Friday night.

I will stay in the bathroom with you while you throw up.

You can sleep in the bed with me if you are throwing up.

I will kiss you all over even if you do have a fever.