All the World's a Stage

It was a big day today. This morning we had the finale of Theater Camp at the library. The girls went every morning this week, and today they did a program (of sorts) showing some of the stuff they did during class this week. Here is a painful truth about these programs. Only two people care about these things—parents and pedophiles. No one on earth wants to go see other people’s kids on stage. Not even precocious ones. Of course, I adore watching my own Shorties on stage because it’s like being in on a private joke. But if we were really honest, we’d say the rest of the program suffering through all of the other precious angels is painful. Sitting through one of these things is like having my brain sucked out through my eye socket.

I sat next to a woman who had twins in the program also, which is always a good conversation starter. She said that her girls didn’t ever want to be separated, and they had to go in the same class. I said that mine insisted on being in different classes because they fight all of the time. At this exact moment, literally as I am speaking these words, in the program on stage, while belting out a tone deaf version of The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music, Elise and Elaina stood ramrod straight, facing forward, but flicking their wrists to hit each other back and forth in perfect time, until Elise leaned over mid-song to the kid on her other side and hissed, “Do you wanna switch places?” Ahhh…the powerful bond of sisterhood.

As if that weren’t enough time on stage, tonight was our sister church’s VBS Family Night. This is where the kids get up and perform some of the songs they learned during the week. (Far more entertaining, probably because I know who these kids are and feel comfortable laughing at them too.)

The surprise of the evening was when Elaina tore it up during her song performance. The song they performed was called “Get Up!” which involved lots of jumping straight up and down during the chorus. But the highlight was when the guitar solo came on, and she and the other three kids on stage did the air guitar with the music.

Well, I should say that the other three kids stood there and played a ‘ukulele’ and Elaina tore it up like Kirk Hammett or Eddie Van Halen jumping all over the place, banging her head, and throwing it down like she really meant it. Everyone busted out laughing out of sheer joy—it was wonderful. And then the entire congregation turned around and looked at me (for what reason I can’t imagine. How could this possibly be my fault? Humph.)

At the snack time, Lily got to see her little boyfriend, Nate. I’m pretty sure that they are going to get married eventually. Think I’m making it up? I never joke about love or chocolate. Here you go…



And the entertainment just kept on coming…on the ride home, there was heat lightning in the sky, and the girls wanted to know why heat lightning happened without thunder and rain. The Husband, being the Grand Master of Making Stuff Up that he is, began to give a technical explanation about atmospheric pressure refraction and spaces of volume when Elise said pointedly in a way that you could visualize the eye roll without actually seeing it from the back seat, “Earth to Dad! Earth to Dad! Come back from Dork Land and explain it in Earth Talk.”

And that about sums it up.