All the news that's fit to print.

So, I’m reading the "news" this morning, and this is an actual headline on MSN: "How to Date While Pregnant" Ummm...I’m not sure when pregnant and dating became an acceptable, newsworthy story item. (And everyone thought I was crazy when I proclaimed that the Bratz dolls were a plague on our society. No shocker there, when we have Hooker Barbies on an entire aisle of the toy store, we then aren't allowed to be shocked and mystified about birth control being passed out without parental consent in the Middle School to 11-yr-olds and MSN giving us "pregnant and dating web tips" as "news".)

(Note to self: no more caffeine after 9:00 a.m. The rants are starting earlier and earlier.)

And in other news, I’m speaking at our local County Ministerial Assistants Banquet in December and in the advertisement they listed me as: "Enjoy Bible teacher, speaker, and humorist Charlotte Johnson."

I got tickled because that is pretty good--"humorist". Usually when people ask me what I speak about or what I do in these programs I say, "Ummm...well...I sort of...hmmm...tell funny stories...not jokes...because I'm not a comedian exactly, but I tell real life stories, but they are really funny stories, and then I apply them to a greater principle...blah, blah, blah." It sounds like I have no idea what I "do" (maybe because I don't).

I think that now I’m going to steal that descriptive: I’m a Humorist. :-) Cool.

We're sort of running crazy right now at the house with so many things going on at one time (humming a few bars of It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas under my breath)

Our church is doing a new directory, and we are having our family portraits made tonight; our church also sponsors an Upward Basketball league and evaluations are ongoing this week at night; Steve is helping a family with a funeral today/tomorrow; he's also speaking at a local elementary school tomorrow afternoon; I'm hosting a women's meeting at my house tomorrow night that involves a full house cleaning and making food (thank goodness for those dip mixes I bought at the Christmas Village, whew); we're having kids sleep over at the house on Friday night; we have a youth mission project on Saturday afternoon; we've got the big Thanksgiving service coming up Sunday evening; and the youth project continues on Sunday afternoon as does the training for coaches and referees for the basketball thingy right after morning services.

And then we have a second grade field trip on Monday (which is going to require its own rant because they are asking parents to follow the bus and drive their own vehicles up there 45 miles from the school and then, oh, hey, we're real sorry, but there isn't room in the actual planetarium for you, so you'll have to wait outside with the other parents while the kids and teachers go in and see the program and parents, don't forget to bring your own lunches and pay your way in. Funny, we can't figure out why we can't get chaperone's, do-de-do-de-do...[note to self: try not to rant pre the actual rant anymore]) and then we have flu shots and I have no earthly idea when exactly am I going to put up the Christmas tree and decorations and bake and shop and wrap and, and, and...?

Wait, I can't type anymore, my left eyelid is twitching. I think I just blew a fuse or something. Speaking of that Wife Swap thing a few posts ago, anyone want to trade? Anyone? Anyone? Hello? (tap, tap, tap on screen) Is this thing on?