Carter and Tanner meet me before I can get out of my car. For those who have teen boys you understand this is not a good thing. They aren’t greeting you and haven’t missed you. They are either about to ask permission to do something stupid or are trying to mitigate the fall out from something stupid they have already done.
Brief side note—after the big storm that knocked down all of the giant pines in my front yard, the screen that protects the chimney from letting critters in blew off, but we didn’t realize that until a bird family moved in. Because it was spring and I was feeling generous and kind, we allowed the birds to nest there thinking sometime in late September or October we would call the chimney sweep to come and clean the whole thing out and reapply the screen to the chimney. (It has been 105° and it’s the middle of August. Getting the chimney ready hasn’t been on my radar.)
Carter: So the smoke has disapated now, (I already have a gut mom intuition feeling what’s happened here but continue to play dumb), but we had an issue where we decided to get the birds out of the chimney and we lit a pine cone and some paper towels in the grate. (Starts speaking much faster now after my deep intake of breath) That was going great for awhile until the smoke couldn’t escape because Of the nest so it started pouring into the living room. We were afraid for a second the chimney was on fire.
Tanner: yeah, That was some seal team six level stuff going down right there
Carter: (side eye what-the-heck-that-isn’t-helping look at tanner) Then the birds fought back. They were like dive bombing the glass screen trying to get out of the Smokey chimney I guess.
Tanner: It was like a bird Viva de resistance.
Carter (to tanner): dude, you are so not helping me right now
Carter (to mom): but then we got the fire put out and opened all of the doors and windows and turned on the fans and it’s better now. So don’t be mad. It’s my last night. Please don’t be mad.
Then they stood there staring at me and suddenly they were seven years old and covered head to toe in mud asking if they could run through the sprinklers just a few more times.
I really really tried not to laugh. I swear I did. It might have been the viva de resistance. Or the seal team level stuff going down. Or maybe because it’s my son’s last night in the house with his idiot friends. Whatever. The house is standing and the chimney didn’t catch on fire and there are no birds loose in my living room. The rest is just conversation.
This is called “perspective.” ❤️❤️❤️
