Next of Kin

Next of Kin movie still

Steven Seagal

Clint Eastwood

Bruce Willis

Liam Neeson

Chuck Norris

Charles Bronson

John Wayne

Kevin Costner

Keanu Reeves

Nicholas Cage

Ben Affleck

Sylvester Stallone

Jean Claude Van Dam

John Travolta

Jason Stathem

These actors have made a ton of blockbuster films that basically seek revenge or demand a reckoning for wrongdoing when the powers that be (aka police, military, government) don’t appear to be doing the job adequately.

There’s a whole group of people who have been watching these blockbuster movies their whole lives and hoping for their chance to be heroes (hero/vigilante  or   toe-May-toe/ toe-mah-toe). These people own lots of guns. They practice shooting them often. For fun. They have cameras all over their property. They have dogs and security systems. And they can’t wait for you to roll up and give it a go. Never forget that the police protect you from them just as much as them from you. 

No one wants to know how I’d handle it. 

(See also: Charlotte fails spiritual gifts test by showing a negative number in the mercy column.) 

(See also: Kill them all and let God sort them out was like reasonable dinner conversation growing up when you're raised by a paratrooper.) 

(See also: if we killed more guilty people, we wouldn’t have overcrowding in prisons.) 

(See also: I’ll pull the switch. See: No mercy.) 

(See also: Some people just need killing.) 

The Rules Apply to Everyone

We live rural. And we have lived really, really rural (45 minutes one way to a Walmart). I had to have a different kind of “talk” prepping my daughters (and my son because evil doesn’t stop for gender)  about being stopped by any blue light or unmarked vehicle on rural roads. I don't want them to be stopped by a redneck pretending to be in power or a person in power with nefarious intentions (because I understand these people exist and walk around looking for crimes of opportunity). 

• If you are in a populated area, pull over and follow all directions.  
• Immediately turn on the dome lights in car.
• Hands at 10 and 2.
• Do not dig for anything—not paperwork or license—until the officer tells you to 
• The person pulling you over makes the same salary as someone who works at Publix stocking shelves. Don’t forget it.
• Ensure that your tone and expressions are polite and calm at all times. 

If you are pulled over in a RURAL area:

• Drop to half of the posted speed limit.
• Turn on your dome lights so the person behind you can clearly see inside your car. 
• Call 9-1-1 and tell them who you are, where you are, and what’s behind you.
• Ask them to inform the “officer” (assuming it’s an actual deputy or police man) who you are and what you are doing.
• Then DO NOT STOP, but drive until you find people or a gas station, our house, or go directly to the police station—whichever is closest.
• Then follow all directions from people in authority.

If you get detained or a ticket, be polite and answer questions. Do as you are told even if it’s stupid or feels ridiculous or isn’t justified. We don’t fight the police EVER. We fight in court with a lawyer.  I’m coming for you no matter where you are or how far it is or what time of day or night—and I will flip my Karen Switch so fast and so hard it might impact the weather pattern. Try me. 

So, when my kids saw a new ad campaign geared toward having “the talk” about your behavior when being pulled over by the police, one of my girls said, ‘oh yeah, we have to do that too because of our gender not our race.’ 

It's just the truth that we live in a fallen world and the heart of man is desperately wicked. There's no other way to put it. Wisdom is teaching ALL of your children how to protect themselves as much as possible from people who are seeking to do them harm.