The Vows

What the wedding vows should say. You should also repeat them at your baby dedication to your kids. 

• Your enemy is my enemy. 

• I will stand in front of any danger real or perceived that comes at us from the front. You guard my six. 

• I can say what I’d like about you, but I will physically assault anyone who speaks against you. 

• If you turn into a zombie in the apocalypse I will stab you in the eye and put you down, because that shell you walk around in has nothing to do with who you are. 

• That being said about your outer shell—I will love you pot bellied, bald, stretch marked, scarred, and changed from your present form. I will love you when you are dirty, bloated, vomiting, crusty, leaky, and stinky. I expect you to return the favor. 

• I will also love you when you are angry, difficult, cranky, not a morning person, on your cycle, irrational, and when you aren’t loving me back very well. Basically, I will love you when you are unlovable. 

• It’s a marathon not a sprint. I will carry the water sometimes if you promise to do the same for me when I’m tired. 

• Money comes and goes. There will never ever be enough of it for all of your wants. Don’t waste time arguing about it. 

• Get over yourself more often than not. 

• Sometimes it really is the other person's fault. Forgive them when they apologize. Keep forgiving them when they don't deserve it. Do it over and over until it sticks. 

• Sometimes it really is your fault. Apologize quickly. Really mean it. 

• Endurance is more important than speed or skill. Don’t forget it when you’re in the lull.  

• And finally, be flexible--because love covers a multitude of sins, but flexibility means you bend without breaking, and we are going to need that skill with kids and each other. 

Teaching and Influencing

Random Thoughts about Teaching and Influencing:

My job as an English teacher isn't to shelter your child. It's to expose them to great literature and illustrate truths about the human experience through  that literature while maintaining exacting standards in language, grammar, punctuation, and form. It is not my job to insulate your children. In fact, I can argue that it’s the exact opposite. I am to challenge them and act like iron sharpening iron which frequently requires friction and discomfort. 

I'm raising warriors at my house-- Children who have discernment in a fallen and evil world. It's dangerous to send your sheep among wolves without armor and training. Why would you do that very thing to your child? By protecting them from the world and every single questionable thing in it, they aren't equipped to fight when the day comes. And that day will come.  Sooner rather than later. 

When someone looks at me in the face and says 'I don't really like to read,' it's the same as telling me he is incredibly ignorant and is quasi proud of that fact. I really appreciate the heads up, because your behavior will eventually bear that out anyway. It's nice to have some advance warning.

I speak in front of a captive audience approximately 40-50 hours a week. I’m bound to put my foot in it now and again. I ought to keep lists of things your kids say and do to retaliate when I am called on the carpet, but then I’d be just like you. I’ll take a hard pass on that, thanks. I think I’ll just keep on influencing and let you do the judging. These things always work themselves out without lifting a finger.

I know I'm supposed to respond like Christ, but sometimes I can't help from going Beowulf on 'em. You know, tearing the arm off of my enemy and beating him to death with it? Like that. (Reading ensures you get the joke instead of being the joke.) So don't get confused--I am not Christ. I am a follower of Christ doing the very best that I can on a daily. I'll forgive you for the same.