So proud of my daughter, Elise (for about a million reasons, but here are a few recent reasons). Tonight--she shared with the youth department of Randolph Baptist Church as a featured speaker during their VBS week. She shared about three incredibly important things:
1) Choosing your friendships wisely.
2) Knowing who you are without any external trappings.
3) Knowing who you are in relation to Christ and God.
I couldn't have been any more proud of her speaking ability, the quality of her message, her exuberance and complete transparency with a difficult topic, and her willingness to go when God opened a door.
One of Elise's hot topics concerning her cancer journey has been the fact that before her cancer diagnosis, she was vain, self-obsessed, borderline anorexic, obsessed with her body image, and mean spirited. (Her words, not mine.)
Through the vehicle of cancer, God took everything about her that was important to her, but external in nature, away.
- She lost her precious hair.
- She was forced to gain 30 pounds changing her entire shape and body image.
- Her looks changed dramatically over the nine months.
- She lost her immediate friend group when she was unable to go to school daily (they simply faded away).
- She was unable to stay in the loop and continue in a 'mean girl' cycle.
- She was unable to be the "smartest" or "funniest" or most "spirit filled" person at events.
- She was forced to question herself daily about her self-identity.
- She was angry with God (due to some things that happened in our family that were completely out of her control) and unsure of her relationship with Him.
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Scars from surgeries and radiation burns...
still bathing suit season ready!
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And she kept asking herself at each turn, "Who am I now?" It's a scary, difficult question to answer for adults, but for teens, it's heartbreaking. Especially when your self-worth has been bound up in external things. But tonight, while speaking to a room full of teens who are all struggling with the same questions, she said this...
How Do I Prepare for Bad Things?
"Your parents have medicine cabinets full of items 'just in case'...like Tylenol and Bandaids. They are there for WHEN you have a problem like a headache or a cut, because they KNOW from experience that bad things ARE going to happen eventually, and they have a plan in place for those things. Here is what I have learned from my experience with cancer--a REALLY BAD THING--that happened to me and how God prepared me to deal with it in advance.
"You have to surround yourself with actual Christian friends who will be there for you when stuff gets real, and you have to be there for them in their time of need in return. You NEED Christian friends around you to protect you and guide you and advise you and love you when you are unlovable. You need them for your whole life. And you need to strive to be a good Christian friend too.
"You have to know that your worth is all from Christ and who you are in God and your relationship to Him. You are NOT the sum total of outside things.
"You better know what you are all about when you don't have anything else to lean on.
"You need to seek God's face in prayer daily. Constantly. Always. Without ceasing.
"You need to believe who you are in Christ and believe what God says you are to Him.
"You need to forgive those who wrong you, because rest assured they are going to.
"You need to understand that when bad things come you are prepared in advance because God is there with you."
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| Elaina and Elise |
I can't even tell you how proud I was of my girl. And when Elaina (the twin) chimed in and added that one of the best results of cancer was that before her diagnosis, she and Elise had grown apart in their relationship and God brought them back to a place of closeness through this illness. Elaina said she thanked God that they were closer than they had ever been because of Cancer.
I thank God for cancer. It brought my family closer, made my faith stronger, brought Elise back to a place of wholeness, and proved that God is at work all around us daily.
I pray that when your trial comes you can thank Him also...
