Fin.

I've only cried a handful of times throughout my daughter's battle with cancer. I don't say this as a point of pride, I'm just sharing my personal experience. (Crying or not crying isn't an indication of strength or weakness--it's just a coping mechanism that varies from person to person.) But I'm not really a crier by nature. I'm more of a suffer-in-silence kind of girl. With that said...

I cried when the doctor called and wanted to see my husband and me about Elise's MRI results before diagnosis.

I cried when I told Elise and her twin because that was almost traumatic.

I cried when I told my father (and was so devastated I had to hand the phone off to The Husband).

I cried during the first in-patient hospital chemo while she slept.

But nothing compares to the cry I had at the last day of radiation.

She went to the back to the treatment room and the nurses who have been treating her asked me if she had a favorite song. I told them to play the song she chose as her senior song: This is Me by Keala Settle from The Greatest Showman soundtrack.

(Been living under a rock? Here's the song: This is Me. You're welcome.)

So, she's back there strapped to the table, unable to move a muscle, and this song starts playing at volume eleven. We can't see each other, but she knew it was me. I squalled like a baby. She cried too. When she came out and got to ring the bell that as the final act of her radiation, I was toast. Because until we complete scans to see our progress, that's it. We've done every single thing we can do for treatment thus far. And either it works or it doesn't. It was an enormous relief to just be finished either way.

I haven't cried all that much, because I believe.

I believe that no matter the outcome, we are stronger.

I believe that no matter the outcome, we are closer.

I believe that no matter the outcome, we are in the hands of a mighty and sovereign God.

I believe that no matter the outcome, my children are the fiercest human beings breathing air.

I believe that no matter the outcome, we can survive anything as a family.

I believe that no matter the outcome, God is still God and that is quite enough.

#BigEKickingtheBigC

#andstillirise

#funbus

#funbusdetour

#5shorties

#eliseisagangster

Psalm 9:9      Psalm 46

Radiating Nothing But Love

We have been radiating all kinds of goodness...the fourteen days of radiation. To say that I am proud of my daughter throughout this process is the understatement of my life. She has remained kind spirited, faithful, steadfast, calm, radiant, optimistic, energetic, beautiful, resilient, and all things wonderful. I am proud of what she has learned and what she has taught me.
#BigEKickingtheBigC
#andstillirise
#eliseisagangster
#5shorties
#themotherbear
#funbus
#funbusdetour

Radiation Day One: February 20th. On the first day of radiation cancer gave to me-- 

three hours in the car in rush hour. 

Radiation Day Two: February 21. On the second day of radiation cancer gave to me--

an orthodontist visit for Lillian and Radiation with Big E. 

Radiation Day Three: February 22--On the third day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Friends who rode up and back to UAB with us. 

Day Three: February 22

Radiation Day Four February 23. On the fourth day of radiation, cancer gave to me: A Really Very Bad Awful Day.

Radiation off day between 4-5

February 25: spoke at our church at a Luminaria service for Relay for Life

"Mermaid skin" from the radiation mask.

Radiation Day Five: February 26--on the fifth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Radiation after a full day of field tripping. Went to Shakespeare Festival in Montgomery, ate at Fox's Pizza, had ice cream at Frios, Gigi's cupcakes, then drove to Bham for Radiation. 

Radiation Day Six: February 27--On the sixth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Aunt KK and a bunch of really inappropriate and loud laughing. 

Radiation Day Seven: February 28--On the seventh day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Dinner at Mudtown with Clinic 8 Nurses

(I think they miss Elise as much as she misses them!)

Radiation Day Eight: March 1--on the eighth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

this was my birthday. No better present than getting our girl healthy! 

Radiation Day Nine: March 2. On the ninth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

early appointment so we could make it to the final sports banquet of E's high school career. 

Glamorous for the last sports banquet. 

Radiation Day Ten: March 5th On the tenth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Four hours in the car due to bad traffic.

Radiation Day 11: March 6 On the eleventh day of radiation cancer gave to me--

a really long Daddy Daughter Day

Radiation Day 12: March 7 On the twelfth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Rushed to downtown, rushed back to Jemison, Do-na-ted BLOOD. 

March 7: Hosted Blood Drive at school. Donated after E's radiation appointment

Radiation Day 13: March 8--On the thirteenth day of radiation cancer gave to me--

Becky and Abby G.

Faye, one of our amazing radiation nurses at UAB.

Ate at Cheesecake Factory after radiation, because ONE MORE DAY!